Friday, April 20, 2012

Living Loved

It all seemed so normal. My faith. Jesus. Oh yeah, someone died for something and someone came back to life to tell everybody something. Normal. It’s something I grew up with, I never truly was ASTOUNDED with the reality of how someone actually came back to life. That is, until now.
These last two years God has shown me more about my faith than I’ve learned in all my thirteen (almost fourteen!) years. It’s been horrible, it’s been wonderful. It’s been astounding, it’s been frightening. I’m not sure I can even explain any of it because I think to truly know God’s grace, He has to show it to you. Your eyes need to be opened by the Healer of the blind. I don’t claim that my own eyes have been opened all the way, but I think I’m just beginning to squint at the glory Jesus has been trying to show me for so many years. He died. He died. That’s NOT normal. He came back to life. He is alive. If that’s not abstract I don’t know what is. What’s even more odd, is how much He loves me. Why would Jesus love me? Out of all the things He could have done instead, He chose to die. Are you paying attention?
All the font sizes, cap locks, under-liners, highlighter and italicizers couldn’t shout it out loud enough.
Why did You do it Jesus? Why?
For a while I’ve been struggling with feeling loved. I kept asking Jesus to show me His love; to prove that He loved me. I gave up this question for a while, I didn’t think I’d ever get an answer. I just pointed my desire for love towards the end of time when I’ll finally see Jesus face to face. The other night I was looking up my verse for the Fifty-Two Weeks Fifty-Two Verses Challenge. My verse was John 14:13. I scanned the page for the verse when my eyes landed on John 14:15- “If ye love Me, keep My commandments.” (Jesus was speaking) This applied to a particular part of my life, so I kept reading. “And I will pray the Father, and He shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever.” Another Comforter. I kept reading. The whole chapter of John 14 was Jesus telling His disciples, His people, how much He loved them. (It continues into John 15) I didn’t know I needed it, but at that moment I felt utter peace. I felt love float up from the pages and wrap around my heart. I could almost audibly hear Jesus saying, “See, I love you so much.”
Seriously, that’s going to be a moment I remember for the rest of my life. I love John 14. I can’t wait to meet him (John) someday. I love Jesus. That’s a phrase that has been thrown around a lot. Proclaiming to the whole online world that you “Love Jesus” while turning singers/movies into idols and remembering Jesus only when you go to Church on Sunday. I’ve been guilty of this myself. We’re all so guilty. That’s why God’s grace is so amazing. It’s so astounding. It’s awesome. Seriously.

Jesus loves me. Jesus loves you. Jesus loves everyone, that’s why He chose to die.



1 comment:

gracie said...

Thank you for the reminder Tirzah! It is hard some times not to be callus to what we have heard our whole lives. It is just that we have heard it so many times that it it just doesn't mean the same thing to us as it does to people who hear it for the first time! And then one day it clicks, and your are just in awe of what you have "known" but didn't actually know!!
God Bless,